Summer festival (AKA natsu matsuri) season is just around the corner in Japan, which means lots of fireworks, bon-odori dancing, and drinking in the streets. The heat is already on retailers to supply the appropriate clothing for these time-honored traditions.

Now, web-based retailer CRAZE.jp is offering the dandified male peacocks of the onii-kei tribe a handful of new summer yukata robes served up with a hilarious sales pitch.

Japanese Summer Yukata

A familiar face from men’s egg magazine, 19-year old model Chihiro Saito – better known as “Chibo” – has been suited up in CRAZE’s 2011 yukata three-piece sets, all of which are priced at 11800 yen (about US$150). Each purchase includes a yukata robe, an obi belt, and wooden geta shoes.

Japanese Summer Yukata

Aside from the eye-assaulting leopard print and paisley patterns, what makes these items really stand out is the accompanying ad copy from CRAZE, which reads like a collaboration between a “how to pick up girls” motivational seminar and an old fashioned snake-oil salesman.

“Summer is the most important season for young people,” according to CRAZE. “Do you want to waste this once a year opportunity?” Turns out, the summer festival season is prime time for picking up girls. But even the most ardent of onii-kei guys is going to need a bit of “yukata magic” first to get a shot at the grand prize: summer lovin’.

Ever the authority, festival season included, CRAZE continues, “Women are easily swayed by mood, and they are already intoxicated with the open, free summer festival feeling. If you don’t aim for the target at the exact moment, then you are a FAILURE as a mote otoko (a guy who is popular with girls).”

Japanese Summer Yukata

Not one to be argued with, CRAZE continues, “The attraction of a yukata is unbelievable. A yukata has an adult sexiness that makes women swoon. The concept behind these items is ‘clothes that a Shibuya gyaru wants her boyfriend to wear’. We GUARANTEE that you can get a girl with it.”

Japanese Summer Yukata

Okay, fine, but what about the yukata itself? We are briefly assured that “it is made of good fabric that breathes and keeps you cool even on hot and sweaty days. It is comfortable to wear and easy to enjoy at nighttime.”

Then, CRAZE coldly assesses the target and moves in for the kill. “You must be worried, ‘Am I being too much of a dandy? Does it match my hairdo?’ Don’t worry. This yukata goes well with anything.”

There’s an old saying in Japan that goes, “the customer is a god” – but you wouldn’t know it from the way this hard sell ends: with all the subtlety of a door slamming in your face.

If you don’t get this yukata this summer, you are a FAILURE.

And as well all know, failure is not an option. So here’s wishing the onii-kei boys of summer the very best of luck over the simmering months ahead.

External Links

 

Article by Patrick Macias, photos courtesy of Craze.

About the author:
Patrick Macias is the owner of media company jaPRESS and the author of “Japanese Schoolgirl Inferno: Tokyo Teen Fashion Subculture Handbook” (Chronicle Books). He has written for a variety of publications in the US and Japan including Wired, Studio Voice, and Weekly ASCII. His blog can be found online at patrickmacias.blogs.com.

11 Comments

  1. “If you don’t get this yukata this summer, you are a FAILURE.”

    Woah, that’s harsh…

  2. Hey, I’d hit that. Although he’s so BL bishounen skinny I’d be afraid I’d break him in half with one good hug. He’s prolly not interested in females unless they’re paying him at the host club. Not that there’s anything wrong with that! ^^ He’s also a bit too young for me, too. Give him about 10-15 years and he might evolve into a more mature and refined hotness.

    And yes, yes indeed, summer yukata makes people of both genders and all variations in between look super-fine. Sweaty != sexy. Yukata = super cool in all senses of the word.

  3. Hahaha that is the most hilarious sales pitch. “You are a FAILURE” Any ways, I love the last yukata.

  4. hahaha the headline “Summer Yukata Robes To Pick Up Japanese Girls In”
    i cant stop laughing X3

  5. Haha Hillarious ad campaign. I love it! The model’s hair is a bit crazy for me, but I like the yukatas.

  6. Love the ad campaign. Im so so looking forward to my trip next month. Is there any chance that host will swap their suit to yukata

  7. Pingback: MEN'S EGG DRUMMERS - Shibuya Gyaruo Models Now Movie Stars

  8. Pingback: Sexy Summer Yukata for Shibuya Gyaru

  9. I never been to Japan but have pics of buddies who are Male Japanese Models and them in their Yukata’s very sexy ..sexy =Mew=

Post Comment